Stories to Write Home About, And Some Not To

Just a few of our most notable travel memories that will never fail to make us laugh, even on our worst days. These are the memories that remind us how much we love a good adventure and why we are such good friends.

Poot! (Interlaken, Switzerland)
We bought our nightly take-out dinner of cheese and a baguette and found a bench in the center of town on which to dine. Sitting in comfortable silence, we took in the scene that lay out before us: the sun setting behind the Swiss Alps, a quaint fountain with a tiny old man perched on the side, the amazi–“PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFfffffffftttttt…” The old man gently lowered his raised leg and teetered back to his upright position. Both impressed and mystified, we sat in silence for .2 seconds, and then proceeded to fill the streets of Interlaken with the howls and cackles that followed for the next 30 minutes.

American Drunkards in London (London, England)
Since Miss Kate was celebrating her 22nd birthday overseas, the other two planned a fabulous dinner of wine and cheese, followed by drinks at the local pubs for delicious English beer and shots recommended by the locals. We knew it was a good night when Kate took a tumble stepping off of the subway platform and Katy walked into a moving car. Okay, it was actually stopped at a red light. We hope our hostel roommates didn’t mind the late-night giggling or the silly-faced photos we took whilst crammed into one bunk bed.

Man Brackets (here, there, everywhere, Europe)
After about a week or two of our first European adventure, we realized we had met enough people (boys, in particular) to fill up several pages of our journals. And that we did – in the form of man brackets (think March Madness). To help kill the long hours in transit, we ruthlessly weighed the pros and cons of the dudes we had met, even if the encounter was nothing more than a shared smile on a bustling street. Our final man bracket, created during the flight home, revealed the final winner to be a handsome stranger we had known for mere moments… because when it comes to men, often what you imagine is much better than the reality.

Bum Kiss (Barcelona, Spain)
We have been witness, more than once, to random men trying to kiss rape our adorable friend Katy. They just can’t get enough. One of the more notable times occurred on a sweltering Barcelona summer afternoon, while gnawing on our lunch. “Hola niñas” – we looked up to find a toothless homeless man approaching us. We stopped chewing the fried sugary goodness that is the churro and shot out a wary glare. He mumbled a few words in Spanish and reached out to lightly stroke Katy’s cheek. Katy sat frozen by, most likely, a combination of politeness and fear. Suddenly the man leaned in close for a kiss, and our instincts kicked in like fierce mother hawks. Two sets of hands pulled Katy back and pushed the man away, and collectively we bellowed out a loud and low “Nooooo!” That was the last we saw of that particular homeless man, but certainly not the last of times Katy has heard about it.

Spoon-Fed Lovers (Interlaken, Switzerland)
After a day of canyoning through the Swiss wilderness, we sat outside for a hearty dinner to recharge. Maybe it was the sunset on the Alps behind Kate, or her humbling beauty, that made our somewhat creepy waiter go gaga. He dramatically stared into her eyes and batted his eyelashes at her each time he came out from the kitchen. Much to Kate’s dismay, he even went so far as to slide into her seat with her in an attempt to spoon-feed her free dessert. Being the great friends we are, in response to her frantic “help me!” look, we egged him on and even took a photo.

Liberal Flashings of European Penises (here, there, everywhere, Europe)
We will never understand what men find so fascinating about their penises, or the thrill some pervs get from exposing themselves to a few unassuming ladies. The first incident happened as we made our way up the stairs to the MACBA – we heard a coughing coming from nearby bushes, and turned to see a gleeful middle-aged man waving his member at us. We were much more impressed by the art inside. Later that week, still in Barcelona, we were enjoying the sights on Las Ramblas when a man in a wheelchair rolled by, wang out, a wicked smile on his face. A few countries later, we were hiking along one of Switzerland’s most beautiful lakes when not one but two men decided it was time to drop trough and take a quick dip. We have nothing against the human form, and if you’re comfortable with your body, that’s wonderful – but please, please spare us the shriveled willies in the future. Maybe next time we’ll just know not to look!

The Great White (Lake Brienz, Switzerland)
We had grown brazen from being anonymous and thousands of miles from home when we went for a skinny-dip in the crystal Swiss lake. Feeling invigorated and liberated, we couldn’t stop giggling as we splashed about. “Hey youuu guuuys…” Buca Book writer X squealed [note: said writer has requested to remain anonymous – our parents read this, after all]. We looked over at X to see an albino-white half moon, followed by a full frontal flip. The laughing suddenly became mixed with snorts, chortles and gasps. X’s head emerged from the water, confused by our reaction until we told her she had flashed more than the intended full moon. “I forgot I wasn’t wearing a bathing suit.” Trust us, treading water is not easy when you’re trying to cover your buck naked bod, laughing until you want to projectile vomit.

A Small World (here, there, everywhere, Europe)
We realized that the world is truly small, or at least Western Europe is, when we met a duo in London from our home state of PA, and then ran into them in Barcelona and once more in Philadelphia. A rowdy American shouting the lyrics to American Pie in a Cinque Terre square also shared our hostel in Rome. He didn’t remember telling us that he was Luke Skywalker or saying that he had “shown classier girls my penis.” But Katy wins the most embarrassing rendezvous award. As she exited a co-ed shower in Switzerland, she slipped on the wet floor, giving a passerby a quick flash. We ran into him weeks later on a train, and he said…”Hey aren’t you the girl who slipped in the shower?”

Have any cherished  laugh-until-you-puke stories? Share them here!

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